THE HELP DESK MEME

Have you tried shoving it up your arse?One man is not an island. Sometimes, you really, really need help on something. Unfortunately, none of your friends can help with it, so it's time to turn to a help line! Sadly, just because you call a HELP line doesn't necessarily mean you're going to get a helpful PERSON. Likewise, whether you realize it or not, you may be subjecting the person on the other line to some amazingly stupid lines of inquiry.
Of course, it could all just go as planned. But when has THAT ever made interesting RP?
Standard meme rules here:
1. Post your upper level. Note what your character is providing assistance with in the title line.
2. People who tag in are calling into your help line.
3. Hilarity. Maybe.